


Crowley Ships It

by King_of_Kinks



Series: Destiel fics [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel, Bisexual Dean, Cas finally tells Dean that he loves him, Crowley Has a Heart, Crowley Ships it, Crowley being a little shit, Crowley teaches Cas some things about this world, Dean being done with Crowleys shit, Destiel Fluff, Fluff, Funny, Gen, M/M, Sam being done with the sexual tension between his brother and the angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-17 00:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9297266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_of_Kinks/pseuds/King_of_Kinks
Summary: Over the years while working with the Winchesters, Cas has gathered much information about how this world works. But he still doesn't get many things. So Crowley offered his help, teaching Cas about how things work and what things mean. But of course, the king of hell doesn't do anything for free. As payment he plants false information in Cas head and watches as he goes and talks utter nonsense, which is incredibly hilarious for the king.





	

Castiel looked up from the piece of paper in his hand. Was this really the place they wanted to meet up? He looked at the old abandoned house. It was falling apart slowly and the walls were lacking any sort of color. He sighed, and walked in through the main door.

"Ding Ding Ding. Classes are starting. You're a little late, Feathers." 

Cas rolled his eyes. "My name is not feathers. It's Castiel." He looked into Crowley's eyes, ignoring the smirk, while putting the piece of paper away, where the address for this building was written down. "What do you want?"

"Well, I noticed your lack of information. I wanted to help you out. You being clueless is quite adorable but it can get really exhausting after a while. I thought I'd offer you some help, getting rid of that problem. Just a nice offer from friend to friend." Crowley stepped closer to Cas, looking up into those ocean blue eyes. "You don't even have to pay me"

Cas hesitated. He knew demons couldn't be trusted. But he also noticed how peevish Dean got, whenever he didn't get something or had to ask what it meant. He didn't want to be a bother for Dean. "So you teach me about stuff?" "Yes", replied the demon. "No tricks? Just teaching?" "Yes, and I'm a man of my word" Crowley stuck out his hand. "Deal?" Castiel eyed the demon carefully. He knew that Crowley always kept his deals. That was one thing you could be sure of when working with him. Castiel grabbed the demons hand firmly, shaking it to seal the deal. "Alright. I'll trust you on this one." 

As both of them walked through those abandoned hallways, Crowley began stating how he imagined this to work. Telling Cas to poof up a notebook and a pen, to write things down in order to remember them later on, and informing him when the first exam was going to be. "There's one thing I don't understand properly though...", Cas asked, "Why exactly are you helping me? I know you don't just do things to be nice. What do you expect to get out of this?" They both took a turn left, until Crowley stopped in front of a door. The demon turned around. "Dean's not the only one getting annoyed at you being so horrible clueless. I'm already incredibly stressed and it would do me a great favor if I wouldn't have to waste precious time to explain something to you last minute. Getting this out of the way while we have time and no monster is out for our asses is making me feel much more safer." Crowley smiled and opened the door. "Lady's first" Castiel tilted his head in confusion. "But.. my vessel is male?" A loud sigh escaped the demons mouth. "See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Get your feathery ass inside the classroom." He waited until the angel entered the room before closing the door after following him. "First things first.. let's teach you about jokes..."

A few days later, Castiel returned to the bunker, after receiving a call from Dean. They we're working on a case and wanted to know if the angel could add some useful information. Even though the angel could've just teleported inside, he chose to knock on the door. One of the few things Crowley had taught him. Dean opened the door, looking a bit confused but covering it with a welcoming smile. "Well, didn't expect you to come in through the door. But I'm glad you're here" Dean took a step back to let the angel in. Castiel looked around, once inside, only to let his gaze rest on Dean. A little nervous, because he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Dean, he formed his hand to a fist and moved it towards Dean, letting the fist rest mid air, between him and Dean. "Fist me Dean." There was an awkward silence and Dean, blushing a bit, looked a little confused. "Cas? What are you doing?" The angel dropped his fist. "Uhm.. I.. I think this is called a 'Brofist'? Crowley told me you use it to greet someone you're friends with.. And that you're supposed to say 'Fist Me"" The angel looked disappointed, believing the demon had only tricked him for his amusement. "Oh! Oh um.. hold on" the hunter grabbed the angels hand, forming it into a fist again, holding it up and then gently pushing his own fist against the other. Dean was relieved, that this turned out to be far more innocent than he had expected  "Now you've been fisted for your first time." Upon speaking those words both, Dean and Cas heard Sam, spitting out his coffee, trying to hold back his laughter while staring into his laptop screen so he wouldn't have to look at those two weirdos. When Dean finally noticed what he had said, his face turned tomato red. But of course Castiel didn't get what was going on. Crowley didn't want to ruin the angels innocence just yet. "Let's just.. let's just get to the case, alright?" Both agreed and they sat down at the table, where Sam was sitting. The long haired hunter was desperately trying not to laugh about Dean's statement and get on with that case. But apparently those 3 weren't safe from awkward situations for today, when Castiel spoke with his deep, soft voice, "We need to search for Porn". He left both Winchesters speechless. "We need to.. do what?" asked Sam, hoping he just had bad hearing. "Search for Porn. Is... is that not the correct term?" Dean took a short breath, trying to come up with a good explanation. "Cas... do you.. want us to look up porn? Like, the 'having sex' kind of porn?" "What other kind of porn do you know of?" Sam asked, looking at Dean with a smirk across his face. "No..." the angel replied. "I meant searching for information.. I.. Crowley said that searching for porn would mean search for information.." Dean turned his head, looking at Sam. "I think we know what to do now." Castiel tilted his head in confusion. "I don't understand. What are we gonna do?" But all he got for an answer was Dean patting his back. "You'll see."

"Et ad congregandum... eos coram me." The bowl with the ingredients for the spell was set on fire and when Dean looked up from the bowl, he saw the king of hell, holding a glass of scotch in his hand. Crowley looked down, on the ground, even though he could already feel the Devils trap beneath his feet. "What gives me the honor to be invited into your.." Crowley gave a quick look around. "Sex torture dungeon." Dean rolled his eyes. "Shut it, douchebag. You know exactly why I summoned you!" The demon took a sip from his drink. "I have no clue, squirrel. Enlighten me." A playful smirk appeared on the demons face. "Listen up, dickbag. I know you're teaching Cas false stuff." Crowley sighed and down the rest of his drink. "To defend myself. It was just one tiny phrase I taught him that I thought would be funny. The rest of what I taught him his absolutely true. It was just for the giggles." Crowley looked deep into Dean's eyes. "We made a deal. I'd teach him the ways of this world." Dean obviously didn't trust Crowley. "And what was up with the porn thing? That's definitely not something to help him." The king smiled. "Maybe there was a little misunderstanding?" Dean stepped directly in front of the Devils trap, being only inches away from Crowley's face. "If you play Cas like that one more time you're-" "Dead. Yes, I know, I love you too. Now if you could please let me out of this devils trap that would be lovely."The demon waited patiently, smiling, while Dean bent down to scratch at the Devils trap. As soon as the trap lost its effect, Crowley was gone. "Friggin' demons."

A few days later, Castiel once more returned to the bunker. This time he just appeared inside. He turned around when he heard footsteps. "Dean. I found a clue to your case." The hunter with the fanfiction green eyes walked over to Cas to listen what he had to say. Apparently the cause for the 5 bodies that were found in New Jersey were caused by a Rugaru. Now all the Winchesters needed to solve the case was to kill it. "Thank you Cas. You've been a great help!" Dean gave Cas back a light pat and smiled at him. When the angel looked at those beautiful green eyes and perfect lips he couldn't help but stick his middlefinger up into Dean's face. "Cas what the fuck." The angel began stuttering, trying to find the right words. "I-I.. this is how I uh feel about you!" Castiel was incredibly nervous. ".... you think I should go fuck myself? Wow, thanks. Fuck you too Cas." The tone in Dean's voice sounded a little hurt. "NO! I-I meant that.. Crowley said.. the middlefinger..would mean that.. when I show it to someone.. it'd say 'I love you'... he said I should show you.. I'm sorry!" When Dean heard the words 'I love you' coming out of the angels mouth, being directed at him, his face instantly turned a bright red. "D-Dammit Cas! I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!" The hunter rushed out of the bunker, but not before yelling: "Cas get Sam! We're gonna kill a Rugaru!" Then he slammed the door shut. Cas sighed and walked towards Sam's room. The cold air hit Dean's face, making him realize how hot his cheeks got. While he waited for his cheeks to cooled own and return to a normal color, he let the scene from a moment ago play in his head again. When Sam and Cas joined Dean outside, Sam insisted on sitting in the back, to catch up on some sleep so he would be fully rested for the hunt. Dean had other thoughts running through his head so he didn't even question Sam and just let it happen. The drive was a long and silent one. Every now and then, Dean would look to his right, at the angel riding shotgun. Now the only thought in his head was: **_He said he loves me._**

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to give a review in the comments below.


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